Pay It Forward

Christmas 1998

As the weeks and months passed, we had so many experiences that confirmed over and over to me that Heavenly Father was aware of my little family, that He loved us, and that somehow we were going to make it. I held onto those days with all I had. Of course, I had just as many bad days as good days. There were days that discouraged me more than I ever thought possible. But as I held onto my testimony and my faith, I somehow believed that it would be all right. Continue reading


Let Your Children Lead You

Rebecca - cute photos

My mothering responsibilities made me pause and reflect every day, especially as our lives changed so dramatically. I prayed constantly, and tried to be sensitive to the needs of each of my children. Each of them was struggling with our new family situation. There were tears and questions and doubts. There were bouts of anger and frustration that would surface in so many different settings. At some point, I learned to help them face their fears and frustrations. I also helped them express their feelings. I made so many parenting mistakes, though, and this was a continued source of frustration for me. Continue reading

Alone and Pregnant


As the weeks passed, I began looking toward the birth of my fourth child. I was in the final stages of my doctoral dissertation, with deadlines fast approaching, but with the events of the past many weeks, I knew that I would not finish on time. Thankfully, deadlines were extended because of my personal situation, and I was able to focus on my pregnancy. I began preparing myself to give birth yet a fourth time. Continue reading

A Teacher’s Role: A Job So Important


Spencer started kindergarten within a couple of weeks of our family crisis. As my oldest child, he was always my “guinea pig” for anything new that was on the horizon. He was the first to sit, crawl, and walk. He was the first to attend Primary and Cub Scouts, and the first to play on a baseball team. He was the first to ride a bicycle, the first to go to a friend’s house to play, and the first to go to a birthday party. He was the first to learn to color, to read and write, and the first to count to “10”. He was the first to take piano lessons. As he grew and developed he taught me so much about children and their needs. Continue reading

Lessons from Job

Those tumultuous days and weeks instilled in me a deep longing for peace and comfort. I prayed constantly and pleaded for deliverance. Even with the miracles that were manifest in my life, the sorrow was so deep that when I poured out my heart to God, I couldn’t make sense of what I was feeling. It was a struggle to feel heaven’s inspiration because my emotions were so intense. I longed for the precious early morning hours of days gone by when I would feel the gentle promptings of the Spirit. In my search for answers, I turned to the scriptures daily. Continue reading

My One True Anchor

IMG_0004Even with the storms of life raging around me, my belief in God never wavered, but my belief in myself did waver. I began questioning who I was and I found myself learning lessons about life that I didn’t want to learn! Those lessons were not part of my plan, or so I thought. I had everything mapped out: education, mission, marriage, children, career, church service, and the list goes on. I had always known there would be bumps in the road, but this was excruciating. I had always believed that if I wanted something badly enough, I just needed to work hard and be persistent. I needed to have faith and be obedient. My view of life was quite simple. Continue reading